After much deliberation, I’ve decided to turn a new leaf.
A ghost from the days of future past* told me my tombstone might read a little something like:
“Here lies that petulant little shyster. That broad who couldn’t take a step back. Gain some perspective. Maybe even do a happy dance for a second. She sure was something else. She had a mouth on her too. Do we miss her? I mean REALLY miss her? Show of hands..”
So my new yellow-tinted leaf is all about pausing to say thank you and then retreating to my chambers to continue my vow of bullsh***abstinence.
There’s a long list of people who have been acting as my corner men** and gin-and-juice drinking buddies, and I’m forever in their debt. And by forever I mean until December 31st. New year, new rules baby!
Hey when life gives you lemons, you shut up and build a lemonade stand right? And then you lie in wait for someone gullible to come along and charge em’ extra for it.
*see X-men writers, that still doesn’t read or write good as a title
** a boxing reference from a woman who’s never even watched a match, bravo!