Schenectady New Yoke


Oh boy do I wish I lived in Schenectady.  If only to say Schnectady a couple hundred times.

As much as I would like to lecture you on the pronounication of the word (if you’re curious Wiki How it)I choose to blog instead about the things I hope never to revisit; NEVER EVER EVER AFTER.

Braving the freezing cold for a record breaking 4 hours. Only partially sheltered from the shitty elements of “autumn” in New York London. Wondering which Gods I surely angered in order to be subjected to the less than humane conditions; on a Monday morning of all days.

Dragging protesting feet to nearest shop. Despite continuing downpour of acid rain to buy flowers (irony of a lifetime)Gladioli even. In hope that some flimsy ass petals would somehow make everything better. Only after dunking them in a Bavarian pot mug thing and watching them take shape, did I finally get that I wasn’t as glad as J-LO after all.

Waking with a swollen eye to resemble Quasimodo. Might I add that despite the years of medicore dance training, my posture is now fading fast ,and so that hunchback isn’t too far from the horizon either. Bikram/Pilates here I crawl.

Super creepy cafe/mobster hangout in “modern” Sofia. I went on a trek last year to remote areas of Bulgaria and Turkey on my lonesome. I was mistaken in believing I could just wing it and not book anything ahead of time. The rain and sub zero temperatures just triggered that evil memory.

The past two days have been cruel to say the least and as I sit here in a hoodie crouching over my laptop, I can’t help but feel a little wronged, like Genghis Khan, in that epic film about uhh Genghis Khan.

Good Times.

That Lanvin lipstick you see up yonder (in Schenectady he he) has my name on it. Forget everything else. I’m heading straight for the counter- where I hope they have strategically placed the lip shiners- and getting the hell out of there. From there on I shall proceed to dine lavishly on cupcakes. Good Times indeed.